How to Talk Dirty Without Feeling Ridiculous Relax, it’s easier than you think.BY KAITLIN MENZA

Cat got your tongue? Dirty talking seems like a fun and easy way to spice things up in bed, but that’s mostly in theory. In practice, it can be tough to say a graphic sentence out loud to yourself, never mind in front of a partner. Fortunately, getting verbal isn’t is difficult as it seems.

We reached out to sex writers Em and Lo, authors of 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink, for tips to become chattier in bed—but still feel like yourself.

Build Your Way Up
You don’t have to just jump right in to some complicated, out-of-character script. “Just react to what’s happening,” say Em and Lo. “If something feels good, say so.” They advise starting with moans and sighs, then saying your partner’s name, working up to “Yes!” or “I love that,” and then maybe a breathy “Please, don’t stop.” Of course, not all of this progression has to happen in one night. Consider it your introduction to the art of dirty talk. “Eventually, you can build up to ‘I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK],’” they say.

Avoid Silly Terminology
And speaking of [BLANK], simpler is often better when it comes to referring to each other’s parts. “As a general rule, the more words a term for the genital contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince,” say Em and Lo. “On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use—penis, vulva, vagina, etc. Kind of a buzz kill!” And if you’re ever strapped for words, you can always try using “you” and “me,” like “I want you inside me.”

MORE: We Asked Over 800 Men About Their Favorite Sex Positions

Lower Your Voice
You know how your guy’s voice gets all throaty and hoarse when he’s turned on? It’s pretty hot, right?! Well, time to steal a page from his playbook. “Whatever you say, make your voice a little lower and softer or huskier than your regular voice,” Em and Lo advise. Research confirms it men are actually more attracted to this vocal pattern.

Give Instructions
Commands are pretty easy, too, and they offer the bonus of actually improving his sex skills (and your satisfaction level). A few of Em and Lo’s favorites? “Touch me here.” “Kiss me there.” “Take off your clothes.” “Close your eyes.” “Turn over.” “Put your hand here.” “Don’t move, or I’ll stop.” That last one seems particularly fitting if you’re dabbling in some light BDSM.

MORE: 13 Things You Should NEVER Say During Sex

Ask Questions
Another category of sentence structure: the query. Em and Lo suggest: “How does that feel?” “What do you want me to do next?” “What would turn you on?” “What do you want to do to me?” Bonus: Some of these lines also translate extremely well to sexting, if you’re into that.

Compliment Your Partner
You never forgot the guy who worshipped your long legs or waxed poetic about your breasts. Everyone likes a compliment, and since you’re probably attracted to the person you’re bedding, it shouldn’t be hard to come up with one. “Compliment his body parts, compliment the way he feels or looks or smells or sounds, tell him how sexy it is when he climaxes, tell them how turned on you get when he moans, and so on,” say Em and Lo. “In context, you’d be surprised how dirty this all sounds.” But, you know, in a crazy-good way.

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