5 Reasons Why You’re More Likely to Get Laid in the Winter, According to Science BY ALLIE VOLPE DECEMBER 18, 2017

In the northern hemisphere, the months between December and March can be a source of torment: you constantly have dry skin, chapped lips, icy toes, and a body that looks like a potato swaddled in clothing. The days are shorter, and the act of leaving the house becomes more of a thing you do out of necessity rather than desire.

Sounds sexy, right? Well, despite Mother Nature doing her best to work against us, there’s evidence that suggests we actually want to have sex more in the winter — whether we’re aware of this impulse or not.

“When people are cold, they crave warmth and closeness,” says Marisa Cohen, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at St. Francis College in Brooklyn and author of From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love. “That can lead to the desire to couple up with another person and have sex.” In fact, there’s a specific term to describe this phenomenon: cuffing season, or the desire to enter a relationship during the cold-weather months.

If you were looking for an excuse to get back in the Tinder game or hit up that hookup from last spring, now would be a pretty good time. Not convinced? Here are a few science-backed reasons why you’re more likely to get it on this winter.

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Cohen has studied embodied cognition, a theory that suggests how we feel physically is linked to how we think. She says that because social interaction tends to slow down in colder months, when people are less likely to leave the house, that social isolation can actually make you physically feel cold. (In fact, a 2008 study supports this, finding that participants who were excluded from a social event perceived temperature as colder than it actually was.)

Essentially, when we feel isolated and lonely, we’re more likely to feel chilly. Having a winter friend with benefits can help us avoid that — both literally and figuratively. “Psychologically, the feeling of togetherness, belongingness, is going to give you the warm fuzzies,” Cohen says. “If people are feeling cold, feeling like they are being accepted by others can lead to feelings of warmth.”

When we’re socially isolated, we’re also more likely to seek out activities that can provide us with some warmth. A 2012 study in the journal Emotion found that people experiencing social “coldness” were more likely to partake in warmth-seeking activities, like taking hot baths or showers. Having sex on the reg definitely falls into that category.

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According to a 2008 study from the University of Wroclaw in Poland, men find women’s bodies most attractive in the winter and less so during the warmer months. The researchers explained that since people are usually wearing more clothes in the winter, dudes tend to get more excited when women show a little bit of skin during this time, as opposed to the summer, when women tend to be more scantily-clad. Chalk it up to a “wanting what you can’t have” kind of thing.
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Another seasonal change takes place on a more biological level. Researchers have found that men’s testosterone levels are at their peak in December, possibly due to climate and sleep pattern changesTestosterone is one of the hormones that regulates male sex drive — the higher the levels, the higher your libido.
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Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that affects our happiness levels. Researchers have concluded that our bodies produce less of it in times when there’s less sunlight, meaning we’re more prone to being bummed in the winter, when the days are shorter. (This is why SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, is a thing.)

“Our brains tend to produce less serotonin due to decreases in sun exposure, and this is thought to contribute to more feelings of loneliness and depression in the winter months,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a faculty affiliate of The Kinsey Institute and author of the blog Sex and Psychology. “It’s possible that these changes in mood might stimulate a desire to connect with a partner.” Luckily, there’s nothing that’s more likely to pump you full of feel-good hormones like a good old-fashioned orgasm.

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Pay attention to what you’re watching. All those holiday jewelry and car commercials featuring grand romantic gestures could subconsciously be affecting your desire to couple up with someone, says Dr. Cohen. People also tend to get engaged around this time of year, which can also inspire a desire for a relationship, or at least a hookup.

The fact that it’s holiday party season also helps. “Part of the reason we’re more likely to have sex in December, especially around the winter holidays, is that many of us take breaks and vacations from work and school, which means that we’re going to be less stressed,” says Dr. Lehmiller. “People are also attending lots of fun parties and social gatherings at this time as well, and it may be that all of that merrymaking gets people in the mood.”

Researchers are looking into why prostate orgasms feel so incredible Writer Ellen Scott for Metro.co.ukThursday 21 Dec 2017 7:40 am

In case you needed some gentle encouragement to try a finger in the bum, new research has set out to probe the depths of the prostate orgasm. In a paper published in Clinical Anatomy this week, Dr Roy Levin looks into what we know about the prostate, and what makes prostate-induced orgasms so intense. Dr Levin notes that while there’s a lot of research into the role the prostate plays in reproduction, very little information is out there on why stimulating the prostate can provide new realms of pleasure. The prostate, if you didn’t know, is crucial to maintaining erections and the release of semen during ejaculation. The gland’s main function is to secrete prostate fluid – a component of semen – and for the prostate’s muscles to propel the seminal fluid out through the penis. We know that during ejaculation, millions of sperm move through the vas deferens to the area of the prostate, causing the prostate to contract, close off the opening between the bladder and urethra, and push semen through. What is the prostate? The prostate is a muscular gland around the size of a walnut. It surrounds the urethra underneath the bladder. The main reproductive purpose of the prostate is to secrete prostate fluid and propel semen out of the penis to fertilise an egg. Prostate fluid makes up around one third of semen and contains enzymes, zince, and citric acid. It also has an enzyme called prostate specific antogen which works to liquefy and thin semen so sperm can swim more freely. What we don’t really know is why stimulating the prostate via anal play can feel so orgasmic. That’s what Dr Levin plans to find out. ‘Most of the information about this pleasurable function comes from anecdotal sources,’ he writes. ‘“he scientific study of orgasm has always been challenging. Those induced by prostate stimulation have been ignored.’ Dr Levin proposes a few possible reasons for stimulating the prostate during sex feeling so grand. Perhaps it’s down to heightening body awareness, making people more in tune with the rest of their body and thus increasing genital stimulation, which in turn leads to a connection between anal stimulation and sexual pleasure. MORE: HEALTH Why hundreds of teens marched on Westminster for free periods Can we please stop criticising older women for working out ‘too much’? How to get through Christmas when you’re recovering from an eating disorder This might explain why poking and prodding the prostate feels good, but it doesn’t explain why people report prostate orgasms feeling more intense than stimulation of the penis. The paper also notes that previous research suggests the prostate may have an endocrine function, which can work to stimulate the release of hormones. Dr Levin plans to get to the bottom of things by doing brain imaging studies of people having prostate-stimulated orgasms and comparing them to people having penis-related orgasms. We’ll have to wait for people to volunteer before we can find out more. How to stimulate the prostate: The prostate is located internally underneath the bladder, so you can’t actually poke it directly. Instead you can stimulate it through the perineum or the rectum. You can do this through anal play, either with your finger or a sex toy designed for anal play. Start by gently stroking the perineum during sex to see how that feels. If you’re ready to turn things up a notch, lube up your finger and locate the prostate – it’s around two inches into the rectal canal. You’ll know you’ve found it when you can feel a ball of tissues that feels different to the other bits of the rectum. The prostate will swell when the person is aroused, which should make it easier to find. Go slowly, gently, and make sure your fingernails are short. Make a come hither motion, starting gently then stroking more once you know how it feels. If you’d like to try toys, make sure you use sex toys specifically designed for anal play – ones with a flared base so the toys can’t get lost inside the rectum. Play safely.


Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/21/researchers-looking-prostate-orgasms-feel-incredible-7175887/?ito=cbshare

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9 Habits Of Long-Term Couples Who Have A Lot Of Sex By LAKEN HOWARD Jun 10 2016

I’m not going to lie: I often walk down the street and stare at hot power couples in envy, thinking “Boy, I bet they have so much good sex.” Sure, that might be a little weird and voyeuristic of me, but who doesn’t wonder about the sex lives of others (even perfect strangers)? It’s natural to be curious, and it makes total sense to want to emulate the habits of couples who have lots of sex.

The sad truth about long-term relationships is that, whether you’ve been dating for five months or five years, you can fall into a sexual rut (sometimes more than once). Issues like mismatched libidos, high stress levels, poor communication — all these things can keep you from having the healthy, awesome sex life you deserve. Only by being proactive and making changes to your routine — both individually and as a couple — can you see results.

I spoke to Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, to find out how you and your partner can have the most satisfying (and frequent) sex. After all, sex is vital to relationships.

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“Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people,” Brim tells Bustle. “If our sexuality isn’t being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!”

Preach, sister. If you’ve fallen off the sex wagon and are looking to get back on track in the bedroom, here are nine habits for you and your SO to adopt ASAP.

1. They Flirt Often

“The most important thing to keep your sex life healthy in a relationship is to keep the sexual energy simmering in-between the act,” Brim says. “This could be commenting when your partner looks extra hot, gently slapping, squeezing or pinching them when you pass them in the kitchen or raising your eyebrows in an ooh-la-la [way] when you see them undressing to jump in the shower. Noticing your partner’s attractiveness will make them feel desired and keep you both wanting each other in bed.”

2. They Communicate Well

I can’t possibly quantify how many times I’ve said that communication is key for healthy relationships (both in and out of the bedroom). Couples who can talk about their emotional issues as well as their sexual wants and needs are more likely to get it on more often, because they know exactly what to do to please their partner.

3. They Don’t Harbor Resentment

There’s nothing scarier than the thought that your partner secretly resents you — and that can have an impact on your sex life. “If the relationship starts to be weighed down by resentments and other things that have been suppressed or invalidated, the sex will gradually disappear because secretly one partner is angry at the other for not being heard,” Brim says. “Making time to talk about things, even the simple things, can open up the space between your partner and you and make you suddenly aware of that super sexy person sitting right across from you that you can’t wait to make love to.”

4. They’re Active

Ugh, say it isn’t so! Brim says that couples who are active are more likely to have frequent sex. You’ll have more energy, and the release of endorphins will get you and your partner in the mood in no time. Pro tip: hit the gym together, get all sweaty, then get home for a “bonus workout.”

5. They’re Well-Rested

While exhaustion is often just a lie to cover up some larger reason why your partner isn’t in the mood, the fact still remains that being well-rested can only improve your sex life. If you and your SO lead busy lives, it can be easy for sex to fall to the backburner so things like work and kids take precedence. But skimping on sleep will only make things worse in the long run, and if you want to have sex more often, you should make time to get the rest you need to function (and to orgasm).

6. They Spice Things Up

Easier said than done, right? While you don’t have to force yourself to develop a new kink, Brim says that couples who “create sexually novel situations to keep sex interesting, surprising and fun” are more likely to have a lot of sex. Not that regular old missionary ever gets truly boring, but it can’t hurt to make an active effort to diversify your sex sessions. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself and your desires.

7. They Masturbate

There’s no better way to amp up your partnered sex life than to make time for solo sex, too. In addition to learning more about your body, having a “healthy relationship with [your] own pleasure,” as Brim puts it, is a great way to increase your own libido. By being a sexual frame of mind more often, even just on your own, you put yourself in the mood, which will translate into your sex life with your SO, too.

8. They Make Time For Sex

It might seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day, but couples who make time for sex rather than making excuses are going to have more active sex lives, period. Taking charge and setting aside romantic alone time — daily, weekly, whatever works for you — can have major benefits for your sex life. You don’t have to ‘schedule sex’. Rather, take a couple hours to just have an intimate moment away from the couch and potato chips, and then see where that leads (my guess is the bedroom).

9. They Aren’t Afraid To Lose Control

There’s probably a reason everyone on dating apps has a skydiving picture — people are drawn to adventurous spirits. Brim says that the ability to let loose is common for couples who have frequent sex. It goes hand-in-hand with spicing things up in the bedroom: If you and your partner are open-minded about sex and don’t like to play by the rules, it will be easier for the two of you to have a passionate, spontaneous sex life — and that’s hot AF.

At the end of the day, Brim has only one piece of advice: “A healthy sex life starts with you. Loving and taking care of your body, cultivating a relationship with your sexuality, and making time for sex because you value your pleasure, your partner’s satisfaction, and what sex does for you as an individual and the relationship.”

Check out the “Sex & Relationships” stream in the Bustle App for tips, tricks, and advice on friends, sex, dating, and everything in-between.

Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy (9)

How to Talk Dirty Without Feeling Ridiculous Relax, it’s easier than you think.BY KAITLIN MENZA

Cat got your tongue? Dirty talking seems like a fun and easy way to spice things up in bed, but that’s mostly in theory. In practice, it can be tough to say a graphic sentence out loud to yourself, never mind in front of a partner. Fortunately, getting verbal isn’t is difficult as it seems.

We reached out to sex writers Em and Lo, authors of 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink, for tips to become chattier in bed—but still feel like yourself.

Build Your Way Up
You don’t have to just jump right in to some complicated, out-of-character script. “Just react to what’s happening,” say Em and Lo. “If something feels good, say so.” They advise starting with moans and sighs, then saying your partner’s name, working up to “Yes!” or “I love that,” and then maybe a breathy “Please, don’t stop.” Of course, not all of this progression has to happen in one night. Consider it your introduction to the art of dirty talk. “Eventually, you can build up to ‘I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK],’” they say.

Avoid Silly Terminology
And speaking of [BLANK], simpler is often better when it comes to referring to each other’s parts. “As a general rule, the more words a term for the genital contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince,” say Em and Lo. “On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use—penis, vulva, vagina, etc. Kind of a buzz kill!” And if you’re ever strapped for words, you can always try using “you” and “me,” like “I want you inside me.”

MORE: We Asked Over 800 Men About Their Favorite Sex Positions

Lower Your Voice
You know how your guy’s voice gets all throaty and hoarse when he’s turned on? It’s pretty hot, right?! Well, time to steal a page from his playbook. “Whatever you say, make your voice a little lower and softer or huskier than your regular voice,” Em and Lo advise. Research confirms it men are actually more attracted to this vocal pattern.

Give Instructions
Commands are pretty easy, too, and they offer the bonus of actually improving his sex skills (and your satisfaction level). A few of Em and Lo’s favorites? “Touch me here.” “Kiss me there.” “Take off your clothes.” “Close your eyes.” “Turn over.” “Put your hand here.” “Don’t move, or I’ll stop.” That last one seems particularly fitting if you’re dabbling in some light BDSM.

MORE: 13 Things You Should NEVER Say During Sex

Ask Questions
Another category of sentence structure: the query. Em and Lo suggest: “How does that feel?” “What do you want me to do next?” “What would turn you on?” “What do you want to do to me?” Bonus: Some of these lines also translate extremely well to sexting, if you’re into that.

Compliment Your Partner
You never forgot the guy who worshipped your long legs or waxed poetic about your breasts. Everyone likes a compliment, and since you’re probably attracted to the person you’re bedding, it shouldn’t be hard to come up with one. “Compliment his body parts, compliment the way he feels or looks or smells or sounds, tell him how sexy it is when he climaxes, tell them how turned on you get when he moans, and so on,” say Em and Lo. “In context, you’d be surprised how dirty this all sounds.” But, you know, in a crazy-good way.

Sexual Polarity: The Secret Sauce to Passionate Sex by xanet

Did you know that the secret sauce to hot, passionate sex is sexual polarity in the relationship? It is absolutely true that opposites attract each other.

The sexual charge that shows up when we’re having passionate sex occurs because of the tension between masculine and feminine energy.  When there is a lot of sexual polarity with your partner, the charge is strong.

When that doesn’t exist, sex might be nice and sweet but lacks the passion that you both really want.

Think about sexual polarity like a battery:  positive to negative conducts a charge; positive to positive or negative to negative does not.

Few have explained this concept better than David Deida in his internationally renowned book, The Way of the Superior Man.

Definition of Sexual Polarity

Sexual attraction is based upon sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between the masculine and feminine poles thus creating the flow of sexual feeling.  If you want real passion you need a ravisher and a ravishee, otherwise you just have two buddies who rub genitals in bed…..The love may still be strong, the friendship may still be strong, but the sexual polarity fades unless in moments of intimacy one partner is willing to play the masculine pole and one partner is willing to play the feminine. 

In heterosexual couples this does not necessarily mean that all of the masculine energy must be held by the man and all of the feminine energy must be held by the woman.  In fact, you have both feminine and masculine energy inside of you although to what degree you’ve cultivated that energy varies from person to person.

There are men who hold a lot of masculine energy (Bruce Willis) who haven’t cultivated their softer, feminine side.  There are also men, (Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, President Obama) who have cultivated more of their feminine side.

Similarly, there are women (Rachel Maddow, Hillary Clinton) who hold strong male energy and others (Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe) who have not cultivated it as much.

When I work with couples to help them find their sexual polarity, I am often asked if this means that the man has to be the dominant masculine energy.  The answer is definitely not as long as one of the partners plays the masculine energy role.

There are many happy couples where the women plays the dominant role to a more submissive partner.   Also, you can easily switch back and forth between playing the masculine and feminine energy roles.

As long as you have sexual polarity within your relationship, you will have juicer and more passionate sex.